Your Happiness (Jarl X HerWhisper)

[HerWhisperIsTheLucifer]

She walked along with him, though as she did so she slowly slipped her hand away from his. He was so warm, so alive... It made her nervous, anxious, and uncomfortable. She was quiet the entire time they walked to his home.

[Deleted]

Charles unlocked the apartment, which was on the top floor of a 14 story building. On the outside, the building was a simple rectangular shape that looked like it had a grid cut into it. It wasn't terribly elegant looking from outside, but on the inside was a different story.

Charles led Sachiko through the entry way which led to an open room. The left and back wall were covered in windows that showed a nice view of the surrounding hills and residences. In the center was a seating area, and on the wall towards the front was a small kitchen area. There were some doors along the right wall. It was not a large place, but the way it was organized made it seem very spacious.

Charles motioned for Sachiko to sit at the island of the kitchen area. "Tonight, I am going to make you a plate of salmon sashimi." He had a large grin on his face. He was genuinely excited to have her there, and even more excited that he would get to feed her something he was making.

The lighting in the rest of the room was dim, so most of the light was focused in the kitchen corner of the apartment. "Would you like anything to drink?" he offered.

[HerWhisperIsTheLucifer]

"Drink? Oh..." She sat at the table, smiling. "Green tea sounds nice, it's one of my favorites." She looked around the apartment, taking in every little miniscule detail. It was nice, though she still had yet to get used to being in such a place. It seemed like every time she became accustomed to something, the times changed and new trends emerged, making everything look completely different again and causing a world wide shift in attitude. She did her best to keep up but struggled to stay afloat sometimes.

"This is a nice little place, it's cozy..."

[Deleted]

Charles was glad that she felt comfortable. He poured her tea, and got started preparing the salmon. He did his best to impress her with efficient movements and graceful cutting. He had made sashimi before, but never for anyone else, and so he never put any care into presentation.

"You said you haven't eaten anything since you... died... So do you not interact with these people you help very often?" He was carefully slicing but looking up at Sachiko every chance he got.

[HerWhisperIsTheLucifer]

"Well of course. I speak to them and figure out how to help them. I guess it's all been pretty straight forward in the past though. I've never really spent this much quality time with someone without discussing their sadness." She smiled. "But that doesn't mean I'm not having a good time. This has been and I hope will continue to be nice."

[Deleted]

"I think it will be. Ghost or not, I have to admit I like having you around. Today has been very different from any other day." He found a nice plate and arranged the ribbons he had sliced in spirals, and garnished with some myoga and thinly sliced carrots.

He did the same with a second plate and carried them to the small dinner table he had. "This isn't too small a space for you is it?"

[HerWhisperIsTheLucifer]

She shook her head. "It's not like I lived in a luxurious house when I was alive, and I don't even live anywhere right now as is. This is enough for me." She smiled as she accepted the playe, looking at all the food excitedly. "This looks so lovely... Thank you, Charles."

[Deleted]

Charles had never thought or behaved the way he was since he met the beautiful apparition. He was already thinking of buying a larger table, and nicer plates. He poured more tea for her as they ate together. He found that he really liked watching her eat. She was very polite and graceful, and she made the small morsels seem so large.

"I want to do everything I can to help you, and in the mean time, I would like to make your stay with me as comfortable as possible. The only thing I fear is that when we are done, you will be gone from me like you said before. Is it not possible to linger after your task is complete?"

[HerWhisperIsTheLucifer]

She laughed slightly. "Help me? Isn't it I who needs to help you?" She continued to eat, thinking his next question over carefully. "Well... I suppose I could, but I will be gone a lot. There are other spirits like me who also help others but certain souls are drawn to others. I was destined to find everyone I've ever helped and no one else shared such a destiny... None of the other spirits were supposed to find you like I did either."

[Deleted]

"Perhaps it means something then, that we were supposed to meet and that things seem different this time." Charles wanted to find a reason to keep her around. This might have been what was missing in his life, but he didn't want anyone else. There was something about this woman that pulled him in, just as much as she seemed to be pulled.

Charles kept trying to make sense of everything. It was in his nature to solve puzzles and problems, and this one seemed to have such a profound meaning that it was the only one he really cared about. "What if the thing that I need, that you are supposed to bring to me to make me happy in life, is you?"

[HerWhisperIsTheLucifer]

She laughed quietly, eating another thin slice of sashimi. "Me? What ever could you possibly need or want me for? I'm just a ghost that's supposed to make you happy, then continue on to another person to do the same thing. It's not like the universe has any other special plans for me... If it did, it would have put them in place while I was still alive."

[Deleted]

"Ah, but you see, I am still alive, and you are here with me now. You may not be technically alive, but you are here in this world... and you are with me now. So how can you be certain this is not some special plan?" Charles was staring intently at Sachiko as he brainstormed. Some bits of carrot had caught in his beard.

[HerWhisperIsTheLucifer]

She sighed, leaning forward to clean the carrots from his beard. "Even if it were a special plan, I wouldn't stay. I couldn't stay. Someday, you will grow old and die, moving on to a bigger and better life. I will be left behind like always. I cannot willingly put myself through such pain. I cannot lose a friend of mine again."

She continued eating, go finishing quickly. "I used to frequently take the company of the living and I've had many friends because of it... But I grew tired of the constant sadness. I've distanced myself over the past fifty years, to be completely truthful. I wish to continue to do so." She looked down, seemingly ashamed. "Talking to you like this for so long has made me anxious... You want to know me as a person. You want me to stay. I'm scared."

[Deleted]

What was a simple gesture for her had a great impact for him. When she wiped away the food in his beard, he felt a closeness to her, like they were already good friends, but her words indicated that she felt, or at least wanted to feel differently about that. Charles had new puzzles and problems to consider. Her deathless nature, and his mortality. How could that ever work?

In his mind, the solution had to account for all of the problems, but no matter what he came up with, something was off. If she left, he would not be happy. If she stayed, she would not be happy, and consequently he would no longer be happy. It was a paradox. He felt like he needed to consider that his desire for her was a problem, but he couldn't simply stop wanting Sachiko's company. All of these thoughts were exhausting him. He began to slouch, the weight of the dilemma was starting to take a toll.

In one day, he realized that he was missing something from his life, that he was not truly happy. He met a ghost that somehow drew him in and made him feel things he never thought he could. He had dinner with this ghost and she was now sitting in front of him, telling him he needs to be happy, but without her. His eyes moved to the door in the far corner of the living room.

"Sachiko, what do you do when the person you are helping has to sleep? I don't want you to get bored waiting for me to wake up."

[HerWhisperIsTheLucifer]

"I don't know. I've never stayed overnight before. What do you think I should do?" She asked as she stood, grabbing their plates and going over to the sink. She began to wash the dishes quietly, keeping her lifeless eyes on the bubbly water.

"I could leave while you slept. As you probably already guessed, ghosts don't need to sleep. In truth, I don't need to do anything right now except help you."

[Deleted]

Charles hated the idea that he was powerless to help. He wanted to do more for her, and yet there seemed to be nothing he could really offer her. "You didn't have to clean up. Thank you though" He stood up and walked over to her.

"Sachiko. I know you have been doing this for a long time, and you know best. I don't mean to make this difficult for you... I am grateful that you are here, and I don't really feel like I need anything else. I like the way I have felt around you, and the way I feel when I look at you. I can't be the only one who has felt this way in all the years you have done this, can I?"

He was leaning against the counter next to the sink with his arms crossed. He watched her gentle form as she finished cleaning up.

[HerWhisperIsTheLucifer]

"No one has ever truly loved me, if that is what you mean. My husband was forced to marry me when he got me pregnant at fifteen. Of course we had another daughter, but not for another nine years. He was distant the whole time, had multiple affairs, even hit me on occasion... Yet I was the bad one for wanting to be separated. That's how it was in those days, I suppose. The woman was supposed to be quiet and obedient and I didn't fit that description. I should have just lived with him and ignored him while loving my children... It would have made it all better." She shook her head quickly, looking back at him as she finished cleaning.

"Anyways, no. No one has ever felt this way because I was always distant, and me being a ghost scared most. They wanted me to go away quicker once they learned I was dead."

[Deleted]

"I am sorry you went through all of that. Such a shame." He was lost in thought, imagining her life, and what she must have felt. He wished he could go back and save her somehow. There had to be a way he could do something now.

"Well I am not afraid of you, and I want nothing more than to keep you close. I don't know much about ghosts, Sachiko, but I don't really care. If I can see you, and feel you, and hear you, then what does it matter if you are a ghost or not? You are more alive to me than anyone else has ever been."

He reached up to move a strand of hair from her face. His fingers gently brushed it back around her right ear, then slowly dragged down the curve of her face, lingering on her cheek for a moment. He felt that she was cold, but he also felt his heart beating faster and stronger. He wondered if maybe it was all some cruel joke from the universe.

[HerWhisperIsTheLucifer]

She quickly turned her head away, taking a step back. "You may not care, but I do. The living and the dead are separated for a reason, they do not mix well. There has to be something else besides me that will make you happy."

[Deleted]

Charles was hurt. He felt as if he had hit a wall that he could not get through. "I'll go rest now." His tone was a mix of exhaustion and defeat. "If you decide to stay here, please feel free to use the telly, or you could use my laptop there, if you know how." He weakly gestured towards the seating area, the remote and the laptop were both on the coffee table.

He dragged his feet as he walked towards the corner, where the door to his bedroom was. He started undoing his buttons and his belt before he even made it to the door. Before long the door shut behind him and he was silent.

[HerWhisperIsTheLucifer]

Sachiko stood there, her usual feeling of emptiness and loneliness amplifying itself as his bedroom door shut. She stared at the ground for what felt like forever before going to the front door, leaving the apartment quietly and retreating back to the usual park she stayed at during the day.

[Deleted]

Charles spent the night dreaming. He dreamt of Sachiko. Watching her running free in a meadow. Seeing her smile and laugh. She did not have that haunting quality in these dreams. She was very much alive instead. There was color in her cheeks and her eyes were bright in the sun. When he woke up, the sun was just rising, which meant he was running late.

"Why did my alarm not go off?" He remembered that his phone had taken a coffee bath the day before, and with that thought, the rest of the day came rushing back to him. He wondered if Sachiko would be waiting for him in the living room. His excitement dimmed when he saw there was no one there.

He quickly took a shower and got ready. After all that had happened, he was again questioning if the beautiful specter he had been falling for was even real. Things would make so much more sense if she was some kind of dream. He left his apartment and began his walk to the metro station. He would be on time to work, but he would not have time to eat any breakfast.

[HerWhisperIsTheLucifer]

Sachi now stood in Charles' office, staring out of the very high up window. She had spent the whole night thinking about Charles, the feelings he felt, the feelings he made her feel, and how she knew they both gave each other happiness but she didn't want to admit it. She had stayed in the park until the sun began to rise up into the sky. Once that happened, she knew she had to hurry to the office, for Charles would be there soon enough.

She knew she shouldn't see him again, but she couldn't help it. The pull within her was so strong that it was beginning to make her feel weak and she only ever felt better when she was in his presence. She noticed this after leaving his apartment the night before and she instantly wanted to collapse. It was like he was her medicine, curing her of death itself and bringing her back to life. She yearned for him but would not show it. Today, she decided as she sat down in his office chair, she would be casual.

[Deleted]

The commute to work was always a source of aggravation to Charles. It always was, but not on this morning. He thought only of Sachiko. As he crammed into the subway car, bumped into people, tripped over briefcases and grocery bags, bumped into people on the street, none of it really mattered or even phased him. Instead of getting angry at it all, it just rolled off of him. He wanted to see her again, and started to get worried that maybe she left him. What if he never saw her again?

He was opening the door to his office as that last thought crossed his mind. Luckily, he did not have to dwell on that one for long, because he saw what he had been missing at the window. She was silhouetted by the sunlight coming through, but he knew exactly who stood there.

He felt like he could breathe again. As he took a deep breath, a big silly grin forced itself across his face, and he spoke. "Good morning." He did his best not to seem as excited as he was.

[HerWhisperIsTheLucifer]

She turned to look at the door, her now soft and loving eyes on him. She smiled pleasantly, going over to him to help him with his coat. "Good morning. I hope the commute wasn't too tiring for you and that you had a safe trip here." She hung his coat up before sitting in her usual chair on the other side of his desk. She was trying to act natural as she looked back to the window. "Did you eat?"

[Deleted]

"No, I didn't get to. The alarm did not work because the phone was ruined yesterday. You see, I went out for breakfast, and there was this little.. wait.. You saw all that." He was laughing to himself, and then remembered his terrible display of anger, and stopped.

"I never realized what an unhappy person I was until yesterday." He sat at his desk and looked at her. "You came into my life, and in one day you showed me that I was missing something, but then you gave it to me before the day was over. I know you don't agree, or even feel the same way, but look at me!" He pointed at his face with one hand while gleefully activating the finger vein scanner with the other. "I am happy when you are around, and I smile, and I don't get angry at the little things. I'm just a cheerful bloke now." His face turned serious again. "Please don't go. I'm afraid it will all return to how it was before I saw you. There must be some solution."

On his screen, several messages were flashing, indicating urgency. He looked back at Sachiko before reading any of them.

[HerWhisperIsTheLucifer]

Sachiko didn't say anything to him, choosing not to respond. She simply stood by the door, her hands folded together delicately in front of her as a warm smile found its home on her face. She watched him read his messages for a ling while before deciding to break the silence and tear her hands apart placing one on the door knob.

"Well, you are a busy and hard working man, and you have a lot of responsibility here... But how can you ever hope to accomplish anything without a nice breakfast first? I'll go see what I can find you."

[Deleted]

Charles felt the warm feelings he had for this phantom beauty grow as she stepped out. He decided to focus on his work for a moment and read the messages. Mercifully, they were mainly from the team he had assigned, excuses about why they couldn't work on the AI package today.

He would have to deal with that later though, because a more urgent problem came up. It was Daichi again, but this time the problem was with the material that Charles had helped produce last year. He named it Han Alloy, and it was a flexible metal that was used for insulation of CPU chips. The most recent batch of Han Alloy was brittle, causing it to crack when the heat output was too high. He would need to visit the lab for this issue to personally observe and figure out the problem.

Charles knew that these types of jobs were not for his pay grade, but being an integral part of the design of many of the components produced there, he felt a personal touch was best. He wondered if Sachiko would be able to find him if he left before she came back. His stomach was rumbling, but the problem could not wait any longer, so he made his way down to the lab level.

[HerWhisperIsTheLucifer]

Meanwhile, Sachiko went into the break room, closing and locking the door behind her. If she was to prepare something, she didn't need some innocent employee coming to witness it. Knowing his more Western tastes, she began to prepare a simple breakfast consisting of eggs, toast, and hash browns. She hummed quietly as she cooked, enjoying it immensly. It took her back to the days where she would make breakfast for her eldest daughter before sending her off to grade school. She had wanted to make breakfast for her younger daughter as well but she was too young, Sachiko and her husband splitting when the young child was still an infant and freshly weaned off of the breast.

Sachi quickly made the plate and disappeared as she carried the plate back up to the office, avoiding as many people as possible. Usually whatever she held while going invisible also could not be seen, but it still made her anxious from time to time walking around people.

She entered the office and was slightly disappointed to see that Charles was no longer there, deciding to set his plate on his desk and wait for his return. As she did so, sitting in her chair, she felt something shift within her, and the strong pull that had been holding her close to Charles seemed to vanish almost completely. She blinked, not understanding, and a great wave of tremendous sadness suddenly overtook her. She sunk into the chair with her head down and closed her eyes to keep the tears from spilling over her cheeks, eventually falling asleep for the first time in many years because of it.

[Deleted]

Charles spent a few hours working on the Han Alloy issue. He was able to find the miscalculation and resolve it, but the entire time he worked, he was nagged by the absence of Suchiko. He had thought she might have appeared to him at some point or let her presence be known, but he saw nothing or felt nothing. He was anxious to return to his office and see what she was doing. As soon as the next batch was done and tested, he hurried to his office and opened the door.