Your Happiness (Jarl X HerWhisper)

[HerWhisperIsTheLucifer]

She followed him quietly, watching the ground as they walked along together. It would be several more minutes before she spoke again. "You know, while I was observing you all day, I came up with a theory on you. You're lonely and sad, which is why I have been sent to deliver happiness to you, but why are you lonely and sad? I saw you look at the little girl this morning during breakfast. I saw the sad look in your eyes when you noticed her parents together, happy. You want someone of your own, don't You?"

[Deleted]

"I'm not sure how you know all this, but I also don't know if I want to talk about such personal things with someone I have only just met. You say you were sent, but who sent you? Is the company trying some new employee wellness program that I was unaware of?"

Charles couldn't really accept that she was a ghost like she claimed. He felt like as soon as he accepted it, he would be laughed at. What kind of grown man, especially one in his position, would really believe in a story like that?

"I wouldn't mind talking to you if I knew what all this was about, as strange as it is for me to admit, I do enjoy your company, Sachiko."

[HerWhisperIsTheLucifer]

"What's it's all about...? Hmm..." She thought for a moment, thinking carefully about how to answer. "...Well, I suppose it's about the fact that I died young, at the age of twenty five. I was a young mother and was going through a divorce. The latest part of my life was like living in a constant hell. I wasn't able to obtain happiness while I was alive so I have been doomed to give it to others in my eternal afterlife. Whenever I find someone who isn't completely happy or satisfied with life, someone like you, my soul gets pulled towards them and the pull doesn't fully go away until they are content again."

[Deleted]

His mind went back to the original logic test. What if what made him happy was the fact that she was pulled to him, and that she was interested in him. He quickly pushed the thought away, no one is ever interested in him that way.

"Why would you be punished for not finding happiness? If your life was miserable and you died, why would you be held responsible for it?"

He didn't believe that she was a ghost, but he thought he might be able to help her if he understood what was going on in her head. Why did he care? That wasn't a question he had an answer for, but he knew he wanted to help her.

[HerWhisperIsTheLucifer]

"The punishment is more for me taking my own life. I ended it prematurely, leaving my children behind." She got quiet after that, continuing to watch the ground. "I don't want to talk about it anymore."

[Deleted]

Charles thought that this was much more serious than he had assumed. She had to be dealing with some intense trauma to have come up with a coping strategy like this. He decided not to push the topic and further.

"You said you wanted to know more about me, so I will tell you some things then."

As they walked, he told her about his life. He found himself trying to walk closer to her as they went along. He began his story with his roots. How he was the eldest son of a family of five. How he had been sent away to boarding schools and universities and never really got along with anyone. How he decided to leave and start on his own after being offered a job in Japan when he graduated. He told her how he never really felt at home in Japan, but how he would put everything into his work because it made him feel useful and wanted. He explained how he makes sure everything he does is perfect so that there will never be a need to replace him with someone else, and how being that way has helped him succeed. He never had time for family, for friends, or for love, but those were distractions anyway, and they could cost him his job if he let them.

He spoke for a long time, and the sun had begun to set when he was done talking. He had hoped he was able to get her mind off of her sad thoughts, but realized his own story was not really very happy anyway. Charles was silent as he now searched Sachiko's face.

[HerWhisperIsTheLucifer]

Sachiko listened to every word he said carefully, her eyes getting softer and softer the more he spoke. So they were both empty. They were both lonely. They both tried to forget about their loneliness but wherever they looked, they were reminded of it. When she was alive, she had isolated herself from everyone after starting a family, at her husband's request of course, so looking at Charles reminded her of herself. She didn't know anyone, and those she did know wanted nothing to do with her anymore because she pushed them away, even her own parents. She was pulled out of her deep thoughts by the feeling of a tear slowly running down her cheek, then another and another.

She quickly turned away from him, wiping her face off. "I apologize, I don't know what's wrong with me..."

[Deleted]

Charles had grown cold over the years, learning to meet displays of emotion with skepticism or indifference. Seeing the tears in Sachiko's eyes caused a wholly different reaction, though. With her, every emotion was amplified, even emotions he was not aware he had. He thought that maybe his story was too sad, or that maybe he failed to distract her, and either way, he felt he let her down.

Instead of brushing it off as her own problem, like he would have done with anyone else, he wanted to comfort her. He thought of putting an arm around her, but felt it was too much and he might make her uncomfortable. He wasn't sure what to do as he moved to stand facing her. Her eyes were like dark maelstroms, pulling him into the deep if he didn't fight to stay afloat. "Why fight?" he thought to himself in a daze. Staring deeply into her sad teary eyes, he no longer cared what seemed appropriate, and raised a hand to wipe away her tears.

"Did I upset you, Sachiko?" His voice was a deep and soft rumble, like gathering storm clouds in the distance. He was standing there, looking into her eyes, but the world seemed to be just the small space between them.

[HerWhisperIsTheLucifer]

She shook her head, gently grabbing his hand and setting down. "I'm fine. I don't know what came over me..." She laughed nervously, wiping the remainder of her tears away.

"A-Anyways... I need to help you find your happiness so I can go and help someone else. What do you think you need?"

[Deleted]

"I don't know know what I need. I barely know what I want." He said, but he thought he might want to spend more time with her.

"Why are you in such a hurry anyway? Don't you have all eternity?" He smiled, because to him he was humoring her.

[HerWhisperIsTheLucifer]

"Well, I suppose that is true, but you aren't the only miserable person in the world." She grinned softly. "How about you let me into your life a little more? Show me the place you call home. Let me know you fully."

[Deleted]

Charles thought about bringing her to his home. He had never brought anyone there, and wondered if it was even presentable. He knew he wasn't ready to say goodbye, and he thought about his work, left unfinished from when he went to lunch.

The urge to keep Sachiko with him was strong, but his habit of putting work first was also hard to break. He no longer cared if she was supposed to be in the building or not, and so he made a decision. "Sachiko, if you really are just here to help me, then come with me back to my office so I can finish my work, and then we will figure out the rest of the night. How does that sound?"

[HerWhisperIsTheLucifer]

She thought it over and then nodded. "That sounds fine to me. I observed you while you were working all day, might as well continue doing it." She stood, offering him her cold, pale hand. "Let's go, then."

[Deleted]

He took her hand, and led her back to his building. It was dark out when they arrived. He waved his access card, still holding Sachiko's hand. He was wondering why she was always so cold, allowing himself to consider that maybe she was telling the truth, but then pushing the thought away. When they got to the elevators, he looked at her and said "Don't disappear on me now." with a warm smile.

[HerWhisperIsTheLucifer]

She laughed, "And what if I do? Would you cry?" She stood beside him as he pushed the floor button, watching the floors count up to thirty, each song getting on her nerves slightly.

"You know, I miss the good old days, when I was alive... We didn't have all this noise around us constantly."

[Deleted]

He thought about when he first saw her, and how everything seemed so silent when he focused on her. "I think that sounds nice. It isn't easy to get peace and quiet these days."

The building was emptier now, but there were still a few workers, putting in extra hours to move ahead in life. Charles respected that, always taking note of the workers that put in extra effort for his division. He entered his office, activated his computer, and typed for a few moments before shutting it down again. He looked up at Sachiko, and let out a sigh of relief.

"Do ghosts like to eat?" He was smiling again.

[HerWhisperIsTheLucifer]

"Eat...? We can, but we don't feel hunger, and our body is shut down anyways. Why do you ask?" She had sat down in the chair she had sat in for a majority of the day, on the other side of his desk. She crossed one legs over the other and sat up straight and tall, her slender fingers entangled within each other over her knee.

[Deleted]

"I was hoping we could take a long route back to my apartment, and then I could make you something to eat." He stood from his desk, hoping the project he just assigned his subordinates would get completed by tomorrow. Charles had done most of the work already, so it shouldn't be difficult for the team to figure out the issue.

He led Sachiko out and locked his office. "Do you mind a long walk, or would you prefer we take the metro again?"

[HerWhisperIsTheLucifer]

"I don't mind a long walk, we could talk that way." She grinned, standing up with him. Her kimono seemed to swallow her thin body, making her look more petite and frail than she already was.

"What are you going to cook for me? I haven't eaten since I died, so it'll be nice to taste something again."

[Deleted]

"I haven't quite decided yet, but I will think of something that I hope you'll like." Charles started thinking about what traditional Japanese dishes he could make. He realized quickly that he did not know how to make very many. He knew some basic dishes like ramen and rice balls, things to get him by between eating out. He didn't think that would be appropriate for such a guest. He did have a supply of fresh salmon and vegetables though.

As they walked, he had many questions for Sachiko. He wanted to test her story for weaknesses and perhaps help her accept whatever past she was dealing with. "Sachiko, how is it that you know you are being punished, and that you must help people? Do you report to someone? What if you decide not to help anyone?"

[HerWhisperIsTheLucifer]

"When I awoke as a ghost, I just knew. It was like someone had torn my head open, placed the idea within it and then sewed me back up. I knew from that moment on that it was what was expected of me, and when I was pulled to the first unhappy soul, it was confirmed for me."

Sachiko looked even more ghostly at night, almost seeming to hover as they walked. The moonlight made her look paler than before and her eyes darker. It was a frighteningly Beautiful sight that only Charles could see, everyone else around them completely oblivious to the presence of the dead woman.

[Deleted]

Charles had been practically staring at her nonstop, and never noticed the change in her appearance when the sun had set, still seeing someone beautiful. He did think she looked very sad, and listening to her talk about this without that quality people have when they are making things up made him wonder if it might be true. He started to really consider it, and for a moment he was gripped in fear. He stopped walking and looked at her with wide eyes.

"Sachiko.. please.. tell me you aren't a ghost." He voice was pleading and sorrowful.

[HerWhisperIsTheLucifer]

Sachi stopped, looking at him with a confused expression. The cool wind blew against her face gently, but she paid it no mind. "Well... Of course I am, I thought that was already understood." She took a step closer to him, leaning into his face like she had done on his late lunch break. "Have you thought I was crazy this whole time? Why do you think I'm so pale? Why do you think I dress the way I do?" She chuckled. "Why do you think I'm so cold?"

[Deleted]

The fear that gripped him grew. What was odd about the fear was that it had nothing to do with the fact that he had been talking to and being around a ghost all day. It was that he was feeling something for someone who was already dead. He had already lost her, long before he was ever born. This woman he could not stop looking at, who made him feel things he never felt before, was the spirit of someone who was dead. The thoughts sent him in a spiral of confusion. His eyes still wide, were now focused on Sachiko's kimono.

As if he might find different answers, he looked up again and dove fully into her eyes. It was so obvious now that these beautiful eyes were absolutely devoid of life. The haunting darkness that he found so beautiful was the very thing that finally brought the realization that she was indeed a ghost and had been telling him the truth. Fear gave way to crushing sadness.

"Sachiko.." He was so full of questions and had so many logical problems to solve, but it overwhelmed him and he just stood there.

[HerWhisperIsTheLucifer]

She frowned slightly, her eyes becoming softer. "You... Just now realized, didn't you?" She hesitated slightly before placing her cold hand on his shoulder. "I've been dead for one hundred years and that is the honest truth. I had a family once but I don't know what became of them. My husband is most certainly dead and I would be surprised if my eldest daughter isn't. I made peace with this fact a long time ago, that I would never see them again and they wouldn't miss me." She pulled her hand away from him. "And don't give me any of that 'Im sure they missed you greatly' shit that others have tried to give me. I know they didn't. If they dis, they would have had an empty or miserable soul... I was never pulled to them once to give them happiness. They were better off without me. It was simply my fate."

[Deleted]

Her voice seemed to echo in the silence. He didn't know what to say to any of that. He was still reeling from what he had accepted, and now he couldn't figure out how he could ever be happy. He realized that not only did she make him happy, but the thought that he could have helped her and maybe even been with her also made him happy. Now that seemed so impossible.

While they had walked, he had imagined so many scenarios, like taking her to the park, having her come over to eat and spend time together, sharing his accomplishments with her, seeing the way she looked at him, and maybe finally feeling her warmth. All of these little dreams were shattered. How do you make friends with a ghost? What do you do if you fall in love with one?

He remained silent, but he kept his eyes on hers, completely unafraid of being sucked in. He took her icy hand in his, thinking about whether he could ever get used to the bite of cold.

[HerWhisperIsTheLucifer]

She looked down to her hand momentarily before looking back up to meet his gaze. "I hope I do not frighten you. Many people have run from me. I don't want you to ever run from me. The pull that is forcing our souls together is strong and I want to understand why. Will you help me understand...?" She looked into his eyes, her own full of pleading and longing.

[Deleted]

"I will." He said. In a way, he was glad that she felt pulled to him, but he also wondered how much of that was her punishment. He hoped that she wanted to be near him in the same way that he wanted to be near her, instead of just her being compelled.

"I am not afraid of you, and to answer a question you asked me earlier today.. Yes, I would be very sad if you left me again. I would look for you. I don't know why others would run from you, because all I really want is to stay near you." While he longed to help her, he was very worried that by doing so, he would lose her forever.

[HerWhisperIsTheLucifer]

She smiled softly. "That brings me comfort. Thank yiu, Charles." She had troubles pronouncing his name, but she did her best. "Now then... Enough of all this depressing stuff. Don't you owe me a dinner?"

[Deleted]

Her smile made it easier for him to smile again. "Yes, on to brighter things! Shall we?" He motioned for them to keep walking while still holding her hand. He decided to make some salmon sashimi for her when they got to his apartment. He would do his best to keep her happy and positive, and maybe things would turn out right.