Post by Wildpelt on Apr 3, 2014 14:56:44 GMT -5
Silenced
“M-my name is Paul.” The shy twenty-one year old said to the man in front of him.
The man who was talking to him raised an eyebrow at his stutter, yet he shrugged and then shook his hand formally, “I am Sir Amaz, it is a pleasure to meet you.” He was tall and imposing, and his black hair only added to an almost sinister look.
Paul tried to smile and he nodded to him, but he couldn’t keep eye contact. His shyness was so noticeable right now it felt like he was wearing a sign that said ‘look at me!’ He was smiling, but it was forced and he was struggling not to run to the corner of the room back to his roommate. He looked at the man’s nose so it appeared he was still looking into his eyes, and he (tried to) straightened his back.
The man looked down once more and then he sighed slightly, showing this boy wasn’t impressing. He shook his hand once more before he turned around, his black coat flapping slightly in the breeze from the large windows, and vanished into the midst of the party. Soon he was talking to a much more open and prettier girl than him, and the two began to talk about the one thing he wanted to talk about: scholarships.
Paul sighed again and he turned around. His full name was Paul Ferris, yet he was so shy no one really knew anything past his first name. He flipped his sand-brown hair out of his eyes and his deep blue ones started to become more visible. Underneath, he was actually handsome and rather cute in his features. Yet he kept his head down so much there wasn’t much time to see into his face. He was wearing a fancy gray coat and even had a fancy pocketwatch and chain. He looked rather stunning in his suit, if only he was to raise his head for those to see so.
Paul walked to the table near the corner of the ball, and his nearby roommate, Amelia, was sitting with her feet propped up against the table. She was small and petite and her own eyes were green. She had hair she’d dyed blue, and she was wearing a stunning orange dress. Normally, one wouldn’t be able to pull off such a vibrant color among the more muted blues and reds, yet somehow she managed to look both sexy and pretty without being too flashy. She was casually propping up her feet, something un-lady like of her to do, yet she also wasn’t one to be very classy.
Paul and Amelia were a special case. The way the room orders had worked out was they both had no rooms to go into and most of the others rejected them. After signing special paperwork that nothing inappropriate would occur between them, they were allowed, reluctantly, to share a room. After two years of being together in the same space, neither had done anything wrong. Actually, when she would come to the room, Paul was either peacefully reading or sleeping.
They were at the Academy’s Grand Ball that night, and both knew this was important. Many famous people would come to this night to see the new students and select new ones for their own schools. The two of them attended Merther’s Academy for Literary Arts, yet this school was merely one of the stepping stones to the larger ones. They were located underneath Meran, the cloud city, and they’d already seen some of the Cloud Chasers preform for them. He had particularly liked the newest member: Venesca. She was beautiful and extremely talented, and some of what she did was something the others would strain to keep up with.
However, this night wasn’t about fancy shows or watching other people dance. For Paul, this was the night for her to get noticed by some of the more famous people there. This academy was good if you were looking for an average degree, yet the other adults and lords were also looking to induct students for their own schools. Paul desperately wanted to get to one, yet he also was terrified of people. In fact, the lord he had talked to was the head of a large school for singing he wanted to go into, yet it appeared his shyness had condemned him.
However, he wouldn’t have been there if it hadn’t have been for Amelia. The girl had swayed and prompted him to go for days on end, and he had initially refused to go. However, there was something in the charm of the girl that made him consent to go. She’d also given her to pocketwatch he was wearing to look even more formal, and he’d still hadn’t found his tongue to thank her. When he had, she’d told him getting to the ball was payment enough for her.
Paul couldn’t deny that she was very beautiful and talented. She was a gifted singer and writer, and most of her songs usually had some hidden meaning to them. She had sung for him and him alone many times, knowing he’d enjoy anything she said to him. She was kind and nice to him, and yet she usually was pushy when it came to things like this. Paul wouldn’t have done many things if it wasn’t for her.
Amelia looked over to him when he sat down with a sad expression on her face, “That didn’t go so well, did it?”
Paul wanted to say something to reassure her that he was okay, yet all he was able to do was gently nod and keep his head facing the ground.
Amelia started to sigh and she put down her feet, smoothing her dress. She reached over and patted his shoulder, yet her hand lingered on it more than she should have. When he looked up to her, she withdrew her hand and cleared her throat, and he immediately forgot about it.
“It’s just one night Paul. There will be more at the next one.” She said, optimistically. He nodded again, but kept his head down. He usually didn’t speak unless spoken to. And he was usually quiet at that. Ironically, he was also an amazing singer.
“Hey Paul, can I ask you a question?” She prompted him. When he nodded, she took a breath, “Do you have someone…special in your life?”
Paul looked up when she said that and actually was able to meet her gaze. Special in his life? Was she referring to a romantic relationship or crush? He started to think on that and he shook his head, “N-no I don’t.” He had lost his smile by now.
Oddly, the look she gave was hurt, “you don’t have…anyone in your life that you care for?”
Paul blinked as she said that, but again he shook his head, “I-I don’t really…see the point in romance. It is just…it brings heartbreak and ruins things.” He sighed, “And I wouldn’t want to ruin anything.”
Amelia nodded slowly, but it was dully. She had hurt in her eyes and she shook it off instantly. She smiled again and propped herself on her elbows, looking him in the eyes and she sighed, “Let’s go get some food, okay?”
Paul nodded and he stood up, but he was too shy to take her hand as doctrine usually required. He watched her move and noticed she was rather jittery, and she tended to mess with her long hair. He paid little mind to this and he started to fill up a tray for her of fancy foods and spices.
“But why don’t you want to believe in romance Paul?” She asked, uncharacteristically quiet.
Paul thought on that question before answering, “Because I don’t really want to love anyone if I’m going to possibly be gone from their lives. I don’t want to ruin anything.” He tried to make that last point prominent to her to end this awkward topic.
“But Paul, what if someone does love you and you don’t know it?” She was holding his hand now, “What if they really care for you and you are hurting them?”
Paul shrugged, head back to being down, “I-in love with me? No, no one could be in love with me. I’m not that special.”
Amelia opened her mouth to say something, but she shut it before she did. The two of them went back to their own table and he started to nibble on a few cheeses before she looked at him again. She had let go of his hand and now was looking, making him rather uncomfortable, in his eyes. He blinked, and he started to think about what she was going to say, for she hesitated.
Paul couldn’t deny that she was very sweet, kind, loyal, dependable, talented and a very well-rounded person. She was always there for him, even though they received ridicule that they would never be a couple. He didn’t want to really put a place for his feeling with her, so he never really thought about it. To him, she was an amazing friend. If she was anything more…he didn’t want to think about it.
Yet Paul was so shy around both her and his dreams that he couldn’t really put a thought to either of them. He wasn’t sure anymore what she was to him. Sure, she was always there and cared for him, yet recently she’d been acting strange around him. Sometimes she’d act like they hadn’t been talking after a long conversation, or forget important things about her songs or his. She seemed distant to be honest, and sometimes he wasn’t able to tell what it was she was thinking. She seemed to be closing herself off to him, and he wanted to know what that was badly.
Yet he still didn’t want to do anything to hurt her, so he decided to leave it alone. He was pondering what she was to him when a tiny hand tapped his shoulder. He turned to see Jasmine, a pretty brown-haired girl, looking down at him with her tiny eyes. She spoke crisply, “Lord Amaz wants to talk to you again Paul.”
Paul stood up with a small look of triumph on his face. He looked over to Amelia, yet what he received wasn’t really anything. In fact, seeing him get up was almost hurting her. He expected to get some encouragement or congratulations, but instead he was getting a blank stare. Unable to comprehend it, he left with Jasmine to go see the tall man.
The man in question was sitting at a table, an empty spot beside him, which Jasmine took. He sat opposite of them both, resisting the urge to play with the fabric. He watched them bring up another chair and set it beside him, yet he didn’t want to know what it was that it was for. Thinking slowly, he was going to introduce himself again by force of habit when Amaz raised a hand for him to be quiet.
“I’ve heard you’re an amazing singer Paul. I’ve listened to tracks that your roommate sent out on the school’s website. Least to say, we were very impressed.” The man clucked his tongue when he finished and looked for Paul’s reaction.
Paul nearly blushed and he looked bewildered. The tracks that Amelia had put out were really without his consent, yet he was glad she did so. He slowly stuttered out, “T-thank you.”
He nodded again and he started to leaned forward, “My staff and I were looking to have another singer among our ranks. We have some of the greatest musical programs in the country, and we’d love to have you come with us to observe some of the classes one day.” The hidden part in that message was like a drop of nectar to Paul.
“We’d also like to talk to the other singer who you know. Do you know where Amelia is Paul?” Paul was so happy that Amaz even knew his name that he dully nodded and pointed over to the table he was just at. With a flick of his wrist, Amaz sent Jasmine to go and fetch her. Paul guessed that she was being inducted into the school directly.
Amelia walked over with a blank expression, and when she didn’t sit down, Paul decided to stand up, “Amelia, I’m going to Lord Amaz’s school!” He was giddy and had a normal tone of voice for once.
Instead of the congratulatory words he expected, Amelia took a step back from him and she pursed her lips, “B-but what about me?”
Paul raised an eyebrow and he shyly and innocently said, “What about you? Y-you said I should come here to look for a new opportunity!”
The lord and Jasmine had stood up and were watching the two of them intently. Many of the other people had started to gather around them and some were watching them intently.
Amelia looked about ready to cry, “B-but Paul, what about me? Are you just going to leave me?”
Paul blinked once more and he looked at her with a non-understanding look, “I’ll write to you and visit you!” He argued lightly, and he still was missing what she was implying.
Amelia finally broke down and she looked at him, “B-but Paul, I LOVE you!” Then she lunged forward and pushed him slightly downwards as she kissed him.
Paul was aghast and he could taste the syrup and spices on her lips. She even forced her tongue inside of his mouth and swirled it around. He started to try and push her off, yet she was stronger than he was and she held onto him for several minutes. When she finally was done, it was he who pulled away from her. He stood back, saliva and lipstick from her mouth smeared onto his lips. He frantically tried to wipe it off with a napkin he’d had in his pocket, yet the red lipstick was still smeared on his lips.
The man looked at Paul and he clucked his tongue, “Perhaps we should leave you two in peace.” He took Jasmine’s hand and they turned.
“No, wait!” Paul cried, but they were already gone. His chance to get into a good school, and any other school represented in this room, was ruined.
Suddenly Amelia was hugging him, pushing her head into his shoulder and crying, but whether it was joy or pain, he couldn’t tell. He didn’t hug her back and all he felt was the shards of disappointment in his heart.
Amelia reached up to kiss him, yet he pushed her away. She looked at him with something in her eyes he couldn’t make out, and he almost felt bad. But, for the first time in a long time, he felt anger towards her boil up inside of him. He felt his thoughts turn darker as he started to give into the red hot anger that had accumulated inside him from the world.
“What the heck did you do?!?” He was nearly yelling. Half the kids took steps back, for none had heard him loud before, “That…that was my chance to shine! To SHINE! That was my only chance to get to somewhere better than here!”
Amelia felt the emotion Paul had seen in her eyes get much larger and start to consume her, “What do you mean..?” She moaned, “D-don’t you love me?”
For a moment, Paul almost said ‘maybe.’ Yet, as it stood, he instead hissed louder and spat, “No, I don’t love you! I don’t even know you! You ruined my chance! You ruined it! You RUINED ME!” He now was really yelling. For the first time in his life, Paul was screaming.
“YOU RUINED ME! I will NEVER love you! I never want to see you ever again Amelia! Why couldn’t you have waited until later, or earlier?!? WHY NOW?!? I HATE YOU!” He had no idea what he was saying. All this inside of him was simply him venting. He was angry, angry at, for once in his life, he hadn’t been shy. She’d taken that moment and ruined it.
Amelia finally gasped and she started to sob, “B-but Paul…”
Paul didn’t say another word. He turned and threw the watch at her feet, and then he ran out the doors to his dorm. He was sobbing now, sobbing harder than ever before. He suddenly realized what he’d said and it was horrible, terrible, even worse than before. He started to cry harder than she had, and he fell onto his bed in tears.
Paul realized he’d ended up spitting at her the rage he’d felt since she’d made him go. The agony of going, atop his shyness and the sudden revelation, had broken him down. He felt so bad now that he’d done it he also came to a revelation: he may have even loved her back. He felt even worse when he first came to that thought, and he suddenly wanted to talk to her. Yet he also wasn’t sure how to apologize and wouldn’t talk to her.
Paul had just ruined her life, and the two of them wouldn’t speak to each other until they were each already learned and she’d made a vow never to love again.
The following day, Paul wasn’t at his classes. Then one of the students said he’d packed up his things and left the campus. He’d simply picked up and left with a two-year degree and an unfinished Bachelor’s degree. He simply left the school, the area and even the country. Later, when he’d been asked why, he simply moaned, “Because I am silenced.”
Paul never raised his voice ever again. He was even shyer now that he’d lost his nerve and ruined her life. He was crushed inside and he didn’t follow his dream to become a singer. Every time he wrote a song, it usually was about her or the heartbreak he’d inflicted on her. He ended up becoming a doctor, and at that, introverted. When he ran out of money he moved in with two close friends he had made: Kyle and Sue. The two of them were more open to him and let him talk, but he never could forget how that moment had silenced him.
He finally, with Sue’s help, realized he did love her and apologized to her. Yet she’d taken him months to find and there was no way of them ever getting together. He was quiet and even less talkative than before, and she’d become very shy herself. They had only conversed over the phone before she’d left him again, and they didn’t talk to each other ever again. And neither of them wanted to ever love again.
The pain he’d put on her had caused him grief. He had lost his dream, his love, his dignity and his chance for success.
Paul had been silenced, and he wasn’t ever going to sing ever again
“M-my name is Paul.” The shy twenty-one year old said to the man in front of him.
The man who was talking to him raised an eyebrow at his stutter, yet he shrugged and then shook his hand formally, “I am Sir Amaz, it is a pleasure to meet you.” He was tall and imposing, and his black hair only added to an almost sinister look.
Paul tried to smile and he nodded to him, but he couldn’t keep eye contact. His shyness was so noticeable right now it felt like he was wearing a sign that said ‘look at me!’ He was smiling, but it was forced and he was struggling not to run to the corner of the room back to his roommate. He looked at the man’s nose so it appeared he was still looking into his eyes, and he (tried to) straightened his back.
The man looked down once more and then he sighed slightly, showing this boy wasn’t impressing. He shook his hand once more before he turned around, his black coat flapping slightly in the breeze from the large windows, and vanished into the midst of the party. Soon he was talking to a much more open and prettier girl than him, and the two began to talk about the one thing he wanted to talk about: scholarships.
Paul sighed again and he turned around. His full name was Paul Ferris, yet he was so shy no one really knew anything past his first name. He flipped his sand-brown hair out of his eyes and his deep blue ones started to become more visible. Underneath, he was actually handsome and rather cute in his features. Yet he kept his head down so much there wasn’t much time to see into his face. He was wearing a fancy gray coat and even had a fancy pocketwatch and chain. He looked rather stunning in his suit, if only he was to raise his head for those to see so.
Paul walked to the table near the corner of the ball, and his nearby roommate, Amelia, was sitting with her feet propped up against the table. She was small and petite and her own eyes were green. She had hair she’d dyed blue, and she was wearing a stunning orange dress. Normally, one wouldn’t be able to pull off such a vibrant color among the more muted blues and reds, yet somehow she managed to look both sexy and pretty without being too flashy. She was casually propping up her feet, something un-lady like of her to do, yet she also wasn’t one to be very classy.
Paul and Amelia were a special case. The way the room orders had worked out was they both had no rooms to go into and most of the others rejected them. After signing special paperwork that nothing inappropriate would occur between them, they were allowed, reluctantly, to share a room. After two years of being together in the same space, neither had done anything wrong. Actually, when she would come to the room, Paul was either peacefully reading or sleeping.
They were at the Academy’s Grand Ball that night, and both knew this was important. Many famous people would come to this night to see the new students and select new ones for their own schools. The two of them attended Merther’s Academy for Literary Arts, yet this school was merely one of the stepping stones to the larger ones. They were located underneath Meran, the cloud city, and they’d already seen some of the Cloud Chasers preform for them. He had particularly liked the newest member: Venesca. She was beautiful and extremely talented, and some of what she did was something the others would strain to keep up with.
However, this night wasn’t about fancy shows or watching other people dance. For Paul, this was the night for her to get noticed by some of the more famous people there. This academy was good if you were looking for an average degree, yet the other adults and lords were also looking to induct students for their own schools. Paul desperately wanted to get to one, yet he also was terrified of people. In fact, the lord he had talked to was the head of a large school for singing he wanted to go into, yet it appeared his shyness had condemned him.
However, he wouldn’t have been there if it hadn’t have been for Amelia. The girl had swayed and prompted him to go for days on end, and he had initially refused to go. However, there was something in the charm of the girl that made him consent to go. She’d also given her to pocketwatch he was wearing to look even more formal, and he’d still hadn’t found his tongue to thank her. When he had, she’d told him getting to the ball was payment enough for her.
Paul couldn’t deny that she was very beautiful and talented. She was a gifted singer and writer, and most of her songs usually had some hidden meaning to them. She had sung for him and him alone many times, knowing he’d enjoy anything she said to him. She was kind and nice to him, and yet she usually was pushy when it came to things like this. Paul wouldn’t have done many things if it wasn’t for her.
Amelia looked over to him when he sat down with a sad expression on her face, “That didn’t go so well, did it?”
Paul wanted to say something to reassure her that he was okay, yet all he was able to do was gently nod and keep his head facing the ground.
Amelia started to sigh and she put down her feet, smoothing her dress. She reached over and patted his shoulder, yet her hand lingered on it more than she should have. When he looked up to her, she withdrew her hand and cleared her throat, and he immediately forgot about it.
“It’s just one night Paul. There will be more at the next one.” She said, optimistically. He nodded again, but kept his head down. He usually didn’t speak unless spoken to. And he was usually quiet at that. Ironically, he was also an amazing singer.
“Hey Paul, can I ask you a question?” She prompted him. When he nodded, she took a breath, “Do you have someone…special in your life?”
Paul looked up when she said that and actually was able to meet her gaze. Special in his life? Was she referring to a romantic relationship or crush? He started to think on that and he shook his head, “N-no I don’t.” He had lost his smile by now.
Oddly, the look she gave was hurt, “you don’t have…anyone in your life that you care for?”
Paul blinked as she said that, but again he shook his head, “I-I don’t really…see the point in romance. It is just…it brings heartbreak and ruins things.” He sighed, “And I wouldn’t want to ruin anything.”
Amelia nodded slowly, but it was dully. She had hurt in her eyes and she shook it off instantly. She smiled again and propped herself on her elbows, looking him in the eyes and she sighed, “Let’s go get some food, okay?”
Paul nodded and he stood up, but he was too shy to take her hand as doctrine usually required. He watched her move and noticed she was rather jittery, and she tended to mess with her long hair. He paid little mind to this and he started to fill up a tray for her of fancy foods and spices.
“But why don’t you want to believe in romance Paul?” She asked, uncharacteristically quiet.
Paul thought on that question before answering, “Because I don’t really want to love anyone if I’m going to possibly be gone from their lives. I don’t want to ruin anything.” He tried to make that last point prominent to her to end this awkward topic.
“But Paul, what if someone does love you and you don’t know it?” She was holding his hand now, “What if they really care for you and you are hurting them?”
Paul shrugged, head back to being down, “I-in love with me? No, no one could be in love with me. I’m not that special.”
Amelia opened her mouth to say something, but she shut it before she did. The two of them went back to their own table and he started to nibble on a few cheeses before she looked at him again. She had let go of his hand and now was looking, making him rather uncomfortable, in his eyes. He blinked, and he started to think about what she was going to say, for she hesitated.
Paul couldn’t deny that she was very sweet, kind, loyal, dependable, talented and a very well-rounded person. She was always there for him, even though they received ridicule that they would never be a couple. He didn’t want to really put a place for his feeling with her, so he never really thought about it. To him, she was an amazing friend. If she was anything more…he didn’t want to think about it.
Yet Paul was so shy around both her and his dreams that he couldn’t really put a thought to either of them. He wasn’t sure anymore what she was to him. Sure, she was always there and cared for him, yet recently she’d been acting strange around him. Sometimes she’d act like they hadn’t been talking after a long conversation, or forget important things about her songs or his. She seemed distant to be honest, and sometimes he wasn’t able to tell what it was she was thinking. She seemed to be closing herself off to him, and he wanted to know what that was badly.
Yet he still didn’t want to do anything to hurt her, so he decided to leave it alone. He was pondering what she was to him when a tiny hand tapped his shoulder. He turned to see Jasmine, a pretty brown-haired girl, looking down at him with her tiny eyes. She spoke crisply, “Lord Amaz wants to talk to you again Paul.”
Paul stood up with a small look of triumph on his face. He looked over to Amelia, yet what he received wasn’t really anything. In fact, seeing him get up was almost hurting her. He expected to get some encouragement or congratulations, but instead he was getting a blank stare. Unable to comprehend it, he left with Jasmine to go see the tall man.
The man in question was sitting at a table, an empty spot beside him, which Jasmine took. He sat opposite of them both, resisting the urge to play with the fabric. He watched them bring up another chair and set it beside him, yet he didn’t want to know what it was that it was for. Thinking slowly, he was going to introduce himself again by force of habit when Amaz raised a hand for him to be quiet.
“I’ve heard you’re an amazing singer Paul. I’ve listened to tracks that your roommate sent out on the school’s website. Least to say, we were very impressed.” The man clucked his tongue when he finished and looked for Paul’s reaction.
Paul nearly blushed and he looked bewildered. The tracks that Amelia had put out were really without his consent, yet he was glad she did so. He slowly stuttered out, “T-thank you.”
He nodded again and he started to leaned forward, “My staff and I were looking to have another singer among our ranks. We have some of the greatest musical programs in the country, and we’d love to have you come with us to observe some of the classes one day.” The hidden part in that message was like a drop of nectar to Paul.
“We’d also like to talk to the other singer who you know. Do you know where Amelia is Paul?” Paul was so happy that Amaz even knew his name that he dully nodded and pointed over to the table he was just at. With a flick of his wrist, Amaz sent Jasmine to go and fetch her. Paul guessed that she was being inducted into the school directly.
Amelia walked over with a blank expression, and when she didn’t sit down, Paul decided to stand up, “Amelia, I’m going to Lord Amaz’s school!” He was giddy and had a normal tone of voice for once.
Instead of the congratulatory words he expected, Amelia took a step back from him and she pursed her lips, “B-but what about me?”
Paul raised an eyebrow and he shyly and innocently said, “What about you? Y-you said I should come here to look for a new opportunity!”
The lord and Jasmine had stood up and were watching the two of them intently. Many of the other people had started to gather around them and some were watching them intently.
Amelia looked about ready to cry, “B-but Paul, what about me? Are you just going to leave me?”
Paul blinked once more and he looked at her with a non-understanding look, “I’ll write to you and visit you!” He argued lightly, and he still was missing what she was implying.
Amelia finally broke down and she looked at him, “B-but Paul, I LOVE you!” Then she lunged forward and pushed him slightly downwards as she kissed him.
Paul was aghast and he could taste the syrup and spices on her lips. She even forced her tongue inside of his mouth and swirled it around. He started to try and push her off, yet she was stronger than he was and she held onto him for several minutes. When she finally was done, it was he who pulled away from her. He stood back, saliva and lipstick from her mouth smeared onto his lips. He frantically tried to wipe it off with a napkin he’d had in his pocket, yet the red lipstick was still smeared on his lips.
The man looked at Paul and he clucked his tongue, “Perhaps we should leave you two in peace.” He took Jasmine’s hand and they turned.
“No, wait!” Paul cried, but they were already gone. His chance to get into a good school, and any other school represented in this room, was ruined.
Suddenly Amelia was hugging him, pushing her head into his shoulder and crying, but whether it was joy or pain, he couldn’t tell. He didn’t hug her back and all he felt was the shards of disappointment in his heart.
Amelia reached up to kiss him, yet he pushed her away. She looked at him with something in her eyes he couldn’t make out, and he almost felt bad. But, for the first time in a long time, he felt anger towards her boil up inside of him. He felt his thoughts turn darker as he started to give into the red hot anger that had accumulated inside him from the world.
“What the heck did you do?!?” He was nearly yelling. Half the kids took steps back, for none had heard him loud before, “That…that was my chance to shine! To SHINE! That was my only chance to get to somewhere better than here!”
Amelia felt the emotion Paul had seen in her eyes get much larger and start to consume her, “What do you mean..?” She moaned, “D-don’t you love me?”
For a moment, Paul almost said ‘maybe.’ Yet, as it stood, he instead hissed louder and spat, “No, I don’t love you! I don’t even know you! You ruined my chance! You ruined it! You RUINED ME!” He now was really yelling. For the first time in his life, Paul was screaming.
“YOU RUINED ME! I will NEVER love you! I never want to see you ever again Amelia! Why couldn’t you have waited until later, or earlier?!? WHY NOW?!? I HATE YOU!” He had no idea what he was saying. All this inside of him was simply him venting. He was angry, angry at, for once in his life, he hadn’t been shy. She’d taken that moment and ruined it.
Amelia finally gasped and she started to sob, “B-but Paul…”
Paul didn’t say another word. He turned and threw the watch at her feet, and then he ran out the doors to his dorm. He was sobbing now, sobbing harder than ever before. He suddenly realized what he’d said and it was horrible, terrible, even worse than before. He started to cry harder than she had, and he fell onto his bed in tears.
Paul realized he’d ended up spitting at her the rage he’d felt since she’d made him go. The agony of going, atop his shyness and the sudden revelation, had broken him down. He felt so bad now that he’d done it he also came to a revelation: he may have even loved her back. He felt even worse when he first came to that thought, and he suddenly wanted to talk to her. Yet he also wasn’t sure how to apologize and wouldn’t talk to her.
Paul had just ruined her life, and the two of them wouldn’t speak to each other until they were each already learned and she’d made a vow never to love again.
The following day, Paul wasn’t at his classes. Then one of the students said he’d packed up his things and left the campus. He’d simply picked up and left with a two-year degree and an unfinished Bachelor’s degree. He simply left the school, the area and even the country. Later, when he’d been asked why, he simply moaned, “Because I am silenced.”
Paul never raised his voice ever again. He was even shyer now that he’d lost his nerve and ruined her life. He was crushed inside and he didn’t follow his dream to become a singer. Every time he wrote a song, it usually was about her or the heartbreak he’d inflicted on her. He ended up becoming a doctor, and at that, introverted. When he ran out of money he moved in with two close friends he had made: Kyle and Sue. The two of them were more open to him and let him talk, but he never could forget how that moment had silenced him.
He finally, with Sue’s help, realized he did love her and apologized to her. Yet she’d taken him months to find and there was no way of them ever getting together. He was quiet and even less talkative than before, and she’d become very shy herself. They had only conversed over the phone before she’d left him again, and they didn’t talk to each other ever again. And neither of them wanted to ever love again.
The pain he’d put on her had caused him grief. He had lost his dream, his love, his dignity and his chance for success.
Paul had been silenced, and he wasn’t ever going to sing ever again
